Hey It's My Friend Frank!
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Memorable Quotes
Quote me if you like

"I can keep a secret and so can all my friends." (by Frank)
"I love you just the way you were." (by Frank)
"He is so dirty he looks like if you squeezed him pus would come out." (anonymous, you know who you are. Let me know when you see this-aren't you glad I didn't quote you!?)
"Even if you don't, you better act like you know." (by Mr. Bohanon)
"Everybody is somebody else's wierdo." (unknown)
"Don't argue with an idiot; they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." (unknown)
"Wire hangers! Wire Hangers! I work so hard to give you nice things and this is the thanks I get? Wire Hangers! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" (Joan Crawford to Christina Crawford)
"Of those who say nothing, few are silent." (by Thomas Neill)
"I never know how much of what I say is true." (Bette Midler)
"there are better things to be than nice" (megan carberry,1994) (submitted by my new best friend Amanda)
"buck up. worse things have happened to better people."(-kate, sobo waitress) (submitted by Amanda of Holy Frijoles)
"Ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent. You got to have a J-O-B if ya wanna be with me." (by-a genius)
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. (Don Marquis)

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. (Dan Quayle)
"This ain't Coconuts! GO HOME!!!" (by Frank- shouted at Mandi and Shannon's friends as they were approaching HoFo's)

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. (Buck Henry)

"A slice from a cut loaf is never missed." (The Pearl)

"97.5% of all statistics qouted are made up on the spot." (by Pacey Dinovitz)

Beware the beast-man, for he is the Devil's pawn.
Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport, or lust, or greed.
Yea, he will murder his brother, to possess his brother's land.
Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home, and yours.
29th scrolll, 6th verse of the Law Giver
Planet of the Apes.

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you
would lie if you were in his place.
H. L. Mencken

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
Irv Kupcinet

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.   Dorothy Parker

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my
enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

"As long as there are rivers of blood coming out of the slaughterhouses, the human wish for peace on earth is but a sad joke." Dr. Serge Reynauld de la Ferriere

Jokes are both well-timed and witty and that was neither." (by Megan to a customer with yet another stupid half-drunk joke)

"With great power comes great responsibility." Uncle Ben to Peter Parker, aka Spiderman   

Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was.
Margaret Mitchell

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
Don Marquis

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Emo Phillips

If at first don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
Bill Lyon

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
Totie Fields

Either I've been missing something or nothing has been going on.
Karen Elizabeth Gordon

You got me straight-up trippin' boo!         Eugene Levy (to Queen Latifa in Bringing down the house)

If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of
Mickey Mantle

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Jules Renard

Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the
Henry David Thoreau

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
Rita Mae Brown

Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.
Blore's Razor

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
Tallulah Bankhead

user posted image
~James Dean~
"Dream as if you'll live forever;
live as if you'll die tomorrow."

I Went Down on My Best Friend on a Nationally-Distributed Video and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt     Amy--a t-shirt idea after seeing a Girls Gone Wild video                                

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose
from. Andrew S. Tanenbaum

Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed
in M&Ms: 250
Harper's Index

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.
Willem de Kooning

There is no such thing as a fairy tale romance (other than Todd and Patsy).....it all comes down to finding someone that you can stand 
Franklin Morgan

O.K. Picky Ricardo!                     Homer Simpson 4/13/03

The quality of the drugs in this city is abysmal!  
by my old friend Chris
better to be worshipped from afar than to be dumped in three months! Frank
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.Unknown
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
Franklin P. Jones

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Lynda Barry

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
George Bush

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you
are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
P. G. Wodehouse

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. Mark Twain

All things are difficult before they are easy.
Dr. Thomas Fuller

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private
world of real creeps without having to smell them. Penn Jillette

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who
didn't tell you about it?
Kin Hubbard

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed
to be doing at the moment.
Robert Benchley

A crusty egg is better than no egg         Frank telling his Goddaughter, Shelly, about the value of deviled eggs at her graduation party

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
Tallulah Bankhead

Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for
children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
Antoine de Saint

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx

It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people.
Logan Pearsall Smith

Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business, is only to be sustained
by perpetual neglect of many other things.
Robert Louis Stevenson

You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Al Capone

The following quotes were submitted by Ashley Brown


"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." Langston Hughes

"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." Henry Kissinger

I love you! YOur the coolest!    by the cute and very smart, Ashley Brown (about me) 

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.
Laurence J. Peter

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
William G. McAdoo

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
Aldous Huxley

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the
things we did not do that is inconsolable.
Sidney J. Harris

To be pleased with one's limits is a wretched state.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Fish and visitors stink in three days." It is from "Poor Richard's Almanac," written by Benjamin Franklin -- a very wise man, indeed.

No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it.
Charles M. Schulz

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
Irv Kupcinet

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost

The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful
Frederick Locker

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde

"Almost every man wastes part of his life attempting to display qualities which he does not possess."
Samuel Johnson

Don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things !!  brenda ray

Some of God's greatest blessings are unanswered prayers                          Dear Abby
" Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting -- "holy shit...what a ride!
Brenda Ray

At least I care enough to mass email you!---Frank

You might as well look-you're not going to be a dirty old man forever.
            Frank, St. Patty's Day Parade, 2009:  to an older manlooking at the young girls in their marching uniforms

"It's difficult to agree to disagree when I think you're wrong." - Jacey Boggs



Roses are red,
  the quotes are yel-low.
And even if you don't,
  you better act like you know.
              (inspired by Mr Bohanon)
If you have a quote that you would like added to this page let me know